I was able to visit mom for the first time this weekend. All staff and residents gave had their 2nd COVID shot. One care provider per resident may visit from time to time after passing a rapid COVID test and temp check and is them walked directly back to the residents room.
It was good and emotional to see her. She looked great and her room is nice.
It was the day after that became a problem. She was very upset that I had looked through her drawers, although I’d asked permission, and she’d given me her permission first. When we talk on the phone, she keeps telling me certain things have been stolen. I found everything. I can stop purchasing them repeatedly for her. I thanked her again for letting me do so. This didn’t go well because she has no memory of telling me anything was ever stolen. She called me a liar. That is common of this condition.
She has very different memories of before and after arriving at North Woods Village. She chooses to remember being at home as a happy place, where she did not need or take any medications, she cooked all the meals, did all the cleaning, and enjoyed life to the fullest. Since she insisted we do our own laundry, clean our own rooms, learn how to cook to help with dinners, and help with household chores, as well as farm chores, by 10 or 12 years old, she hasn’t taken care of the house all by herself for many decades. She also hasn’t cooked a meal in nearly a year, but she has taken some medications, although irregularly because she argued with me about them every single day. This is all typical of the condition.
Most important, the reality is that she was not happy at home. She is very welcome to recall that she was happy, but that is simply not the case. As sad as she gets not living at home now, it is no where near the level of daily anger and hostility she had when she did live at home. It exhausted both of us physically and mentally. I know the anger came from losing control of her mind and understanding her finances and her ability to care for the house. It’s hard to not be 100% in control on all fronts and then to not understand why. With Alzheimer’s, you don’t know what you don’t know. And she doesn’t know or believe that she has Alzheimer’s. This is typical of the condition.
There were many other things as well that I had done wrong during our visit that she pointed out on the following morning’s call. All in all, it’s just more evidence that she’s at the best place possible. She does her best to find reason and make sense with this mind altering disease. She loves seeing people up close and personal, and she dines with people, participates in activities with people, and talks with a number of people in person every single day now. I’m glad she has a safe place to rest her weary mind. I’m glad she has happiness again.