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Am I a Vampire?

20 Oct

What I think I know about vampires (based on many festive books, such as those by Charlaine Harris, Anne Rice, Stephenie Meyer, Bram Stoker, and Mary Janice Davidson):

Vampires: Garlic is a problem.
Me: Onions and garlic, when cutting or cooking them, burn my eyes. This could be a sign. However, I enjoy their flavor in various combinations, and I don’t run from them in fear.

Vampires: Other problems are crosses, silver bullets, and wooden stakes.
Me: Other than splinters and tarnish, these are not problems for me.

Vampires: They like the dark and could potentially burn to death or shimmer in the daylight (depends on the author).
Me: This depends on if I have a migraine – in which case, I also like the dark, very much. However, I don’t actually burn to death or sparkle in the sunlight. Just grumpy in bright light and sunburn without sunscreen.

Vampires: Depending on the tale told, some vampires sleep all day and are up all night.
Me: Well, I can certainly accomplish this, but it’s not consistent.

Vampires: They don’t eat what most humans consider food.
Me: Now I KNOW I’m not a vampire!

I guess since I mostly get pain in my eyes from cutting onions or prefer the dark during a migraine, this is not enough to make me a fictional species.

Moral of the Story: Perhaps I shouldn’t jump to conclusions.

2013_07_06_5351 Sign

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Posted by on October 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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