Cactus Killer

19 Aug

Do you know the difference between a green thumb and a black thumb? I do! My mom, a thirty-year plus member of her local Garden Club has a green thumb. Her daughter (me) on the other hand, has a black thumb. Mom can make pretty much any plant life stay alive and thrive if she so desires. I can basically kill anything that was intended to be naturally green, sprout flowers, or be pretty out of doors or in pots.

My beloved Aunt Gladys, my mom’s favorite/only sister, could not be bothered to waste time believing the worst in any living soul. When it came to having a positive attitude, her image was the only description necessary in the dictionary. In her eyes, I could certainly not be death to every plant in my possession.

We often went to visit my grandma, aunt Gladys, and Uncle Jim. My grandma lived with aunt Gladys and uncle Jim. Mom and I enjoyed their company endlessly so we would visit at least once a week or so while I was growing up. On one such visit, aunt Gladys said that she had something for me. This is a woman who has the cookie jar from Heaven – an endless supply. She also has a whole room filled with toys for any child who might stop by, from infant to toddler to teen, she had something for all of us. I could only imagine the delight she had in mind for me.

To my horror, it was a cactus. Not only did I not want another plant to kill, this one could fight back before the death bells toll! She reminded me of my tall tale about being able to kill any plant. She promised me that this one would survive no matter how I treated it. Just water it once every two months and keep it in a sunny window.

Yes, it said a sunny window. But I live in Michigan. Isn’t this one of the least sunny states in the nation? Sure enough, it did bite me before it took it’s last breath. My window was between my bed and my dresser. With the pointy little monster of a plant between the two, I kept bumping into it. It did manage to die in all of six weeks. She nor my mom could resuscitate it. I never even made it to the first watering.

Moral of the story: It’s important to think well of others, but that still doesn’t make it true.


Posted by on August 19, 2012 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “Cactus Killer

  1. Kit

    August 31, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    This is so funny and so timely! I have killed a few plants pretty quickly too. Funny about our relationships with them.
    When you mentioned writing more the other day I hadn’t seen any of your recent posts – I thought I was “following” your blog, but I was expecting to get emails. Just figured out there’s more than one way to follow on WP. Grrr. It’s fixed now!

  2. swmiptac

    September 1, 2012 at 12:48 am

    That is so funny! Especially because they both revolved around plants and family. I started reading the one about your mother-in-law but got distracted by work. I look forward to finishing that soon. So glad you can keep them alive!


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