For the most part, I dislike birds.
Normally, parking downtown for work is a joy. The parking lot is plowed in the winter, summer it is convenient between the car and the office door to avoid the heat, autumn is gorgeous for the trees, and spring is full of flowers and … birds. Did I mention that I’m not a fan of birds.
I had a bird once. It was messy. The mess was not contained to its cage (which I felt dreadful about its living in a cage). The mess was everywhere! The outside birds are always pooping on the windows of the house, and they fight each other at the bird feeder my mom insists on having. Okay, she “had” one. Even she got tired of feeding bigger and bigger birds, and the wee ones only getting the left overs.
So, imagine my delight (not) when I go out to my car in the spring, and there, right on the door handle, is fresh bird poop! Worse yet, the bird had eaten berries. Black or purple berries. This I know for a fact. YUCK! I go to the passenger side instead, reach in and find a handy wipe. I love those things! Of course, being OCD, I had some handy. I was relieved it wiped right off of the door handle, and I was able to get into the car in the driver’s spot.
However, I no sooner sat down in the car, and what should I see on the windshield in front of me? More of that big, giant bird poop splatter! Disgustingly purple with digested berries! Fortunately, I still had some of the handy wipes. I was able to clean off that spot on my windshield so I could see to drive home. Goobers! It’s just gross.
Thinking, foolishly, this was the end of it, I put my seatbelt on and begin to leave the parking lot. Ha! Those little lunatics weren’t done with me! No! One pooped on the passenger side of my windshield just as I was waiting to turn onto the street. That was it. This called for drastic measures. A car wash.
Those little beasts cost me $8 for a car wash, when I’d just had a car wash only a couple of days before. Seriously, I don’t like birds! Birds do rhyme with turds. Hmmm…. something to think about.
Morale of the story: These seasons are delightful – summer, autumn, and winter. Spring leaves much to be desired.