The MAD Life: Episode 11

Emotional Support Cookies

I am not a firm believer in Emotional Support Cookies. This is not just a figure of speech, but a reality that is helping my mental state.

My first Emotional Support Cookies in life came from my friend Stacy. Over the years, she has sent me cookies or granola or sweet bread when I needed it the most. I hadn’t thought to give the concept a name, but it worked then, and it works now.

More recently, my friend Nickey gave me two dozen Emotional Support Cookies. Times were very bad with the Alzheimer’s, and she was worried about me. She set about baking, and I was blessed with her delicious and moist chocolate chip cookies.

Now I am going to order my favorite cookies from Chris. Chris’s family goes on Mission trips, and she has sold baked goods to raise funds. She doesn’t have a fund raiser now, but I will see her next weekend. I reached out, and she’ll bring two dozen of her super thick, moist, sugar cookies with her soft and creamy frosting. They will arrive just in time, since I should run out of my ration of cookies from Nickey about then.

I know: sugar. Yep, I am indulging in a sweet treat and calling it Emotional Support. So be it. My weight is not fluctuating, and if anything, I’m losing weight. My blood sugar and triglycerides are good (or are they the same thing – I get that stuff confused). Furthermore, to help my mom’s mental capacity, we are eating more fruits and vegetables than ever before. The meats are lean. The veggies and fruit are usually fresh. A cookie or two a day is a mental boost that makes my world better.

These Emotional Support Cookies aren’t just a sweet treat. They are from friends who have been supportive, loving, and generous. When I enjoy their home-made baked goods, I know I am not alone in this world. There is support and love.

And it isn’t just cookies. Kerrie gave me butterfly twinkle lights when the Alzheimer’s was exceptionally bad and I was having migraines at the same time. Those are Emotional Support Twinkle Lights. Lynn had me to her home for crafting while her mom sat with my mom: Emotional Support Crafting. Betsie and Steffani send me meme’s from facebook to cheer me. Kathy N. sends me comics to make me laugh. And there are so many more people who I am blessed to have in my life.

Moral of the Story: You are loved. It may not feel like it every moment. But You Are Loved.

 

The MAD Life: Episode 10

Signs of a heart attack:

• Pain, squeezing, fullness, burning, tightness, or uncomfortable pressure in the center of the chest
• Pain, numbness, pinching, prickling, or other uncomfortable sensations in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw, or stomach
• Sudden nausea or vomiting or unexplained indigestion
• Lightheadedness or dizziness
• Unusual fatigue
• Sudden heat or flushing, or a cold sweat
• Heaviness, weakness, or pain in one or both arms
• Back pain
• Racing or fluttering heart

When it comes to migraines, these are the items from the heart attack list above that I have NOT had with a migraine:

• Chest pain
• Back pain

Signs of a Stroke:

• Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm, or leg, especially on one side of the body
• Sudden confusion or trouble speaking or understanding
• Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes
• Sudden problem with walking, loss of balance, or coordination
• Sudden, severe headache with no known cause

When it comes to migraines, these are the items from the stroke list above that I haven’t had with a migraine:

• Oops, I’ve had these all with migraines together and separately

Signs of COVID-19 (the newest Coronavirus) that may appear between 2 & 14 days after exposure to the virus (meaning you could have it for 14 days BEFORE you show ANY symptoms):

• Body or muscle aches & pains
• Chills
• Congestion or runny nose
• Diarrhea
• Difficulty breathing that can be severe enough to cause people to seek hospital care
• Drycough
• Fever
• Headache
• Loss of taste or smell
• Nausea or vomiting
• Sore throat in some people
• Tiredness

When it comes to migraines, these are the items from the Coronavirus list above that I haven’t had with a migraine:

• Cough
• Loss of taste or smell
• Severe difficulty breathing

This is why I can’t panic about these things: My migraines may cause me to misinterpret them. It’s exhausting going to the doctor when this occurs, so I rarely do anymore. I hope I’d know the difference, but there have been times I did not know the difference between a migraine and another illness for a day or three. These are a few examples:

• Sinus infection
• Kidney infection
• Strep throat
• H1N1
• IBS attack

Resources:

• Harvard for signs of heart attack or stroke: https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/warning_signs_of_a_heart_attack_or_stroke.
• Yale Medicine for signs of COVID-19: https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/covid-19/ & CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/symptoms.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fcoronavirus%2F2019-ncov%2Fabout%2Fsymptoms.html

 

The MAD Life: Episode 9

Tonight I said to a cousin that I might be naughty and let my mom clean and organize her room and her guest room. Then I stopped and thought about it.

Is that my idea of naughty? Why, yes. Yes, indeed, my current idea of naughty is to let an elderly woman clean her own rooms.

It’s also my idea of fun! It’s amazing how messy one tiny, elderly woman can be. If she can do this, it’s one item off of my mile long to do list.

Moral of the story: The definition of naughty changes as we age.

 

The MAD Life: Episode 8

Saturday did not go as planned … at all. I had hoped to spend it doing much needed cleaning and organizing. But my nephew-in-law wanted to mow for my mom so he needed gas. Since we were going out, I offered to take mom to her happy place: The Discovery Shop (donation resale to support the American Cancer Society). Then she wanted to return all of our bottles at Meijer.

We got all of that done plus some groceries, and I got a sweet deal on two bee mugs at the Discovery Shop. I already had the lighter middle one that I purchased at Bee School Day at KVCC earlier this year. Thanks to resale, the two new ones cost less total (plus honey and tea) than the middle mug. Then, that nephew-in-law also wanted me to take a lot of photos of the garden he and others grow. It is stunning, so I spent a long time taking 100’s of photos. I’ll have to try again in a week or so, since his sunflowers aren’t open yet.

Three yellow mugs with the honeycomb imprint and an embossed bee near the top.

I would love to spend a whole week (or 2 or 3) just at home, but little things come up all the time. I love being home with no place to go for days at a time, even if I’m working. I cannot keep my activities organized. Part of that is the stress of living with Alzheimer’s and her medical appointments. If we’re out, we just run errands because we’re out.

Her memory issues came into play at the Discovery Shop. Mom only wanted a mug marked $1. She looked at her $10 bill and a $20 and didn’t understand that they can make change for either bill. The awesome volunteer behind the counter said she had enough change to cover it. I tried to pay, but she wouldn’t take my money and said she understood. All without making mom feel bad. She did fine shopping at Meijer. I just never know, so I must be vigilant all the time.

Tonight, we already scheduled time for my brother to come over for dinner so we could work in the last two of the sessions for his cider making class. Making dinner meant that cleaning has still barely happened. We made it through one session, but the last one will be 2 hours plus the quiz, so we’ll finish another day.

Now I’m wiped out. I should have time Sunday for cleaning, but I was hoping to just relax and maybe only tweak things. Yet we accomplished good things today.

Moral of the story: Plans.change, but it can be for the good. 

 

The MAD Life: Episode 7

Alzheimer’s sucks: Not so clean dishes.

One of the things mom has always done quite well is washing dishes. She says she enjoys it. She often feels cold, so the hot water feels good.

A policy that has always been in our home is that dishes must be scrubbed practically clean before they go in the pile to wash. She can’t stand anything caked on a dish and to then try to get it out. We’re allowed to soak them and then scrub clean, but they still must be scrubbed before going on the “to wash” side of the sink.

Well, that’s now a problem.

Today, I was getting lunch, and mom was preparing to wash dishes. She was taking dishes from the dirty pile and putting them away. Drying if need be, but putting them where they belong. She was even putting them in the right places. (She is starting to forget where they go or where to get them from.)

Ummm…, “Mom, what are you doing with those dishes?”

Mom, “Someone is putting clean dishes in the dirty dish pile.”

Me, “Anything on that side of the sink is dirty.”

Mom, “No, see how clean they are?”

Well, yes, they do appear clean. But they’ve appeared clean for decades per her own requirement. Although she herself is skimping on this part, so I’ve been sure her dishes were clean too so I didn’t get hollered at.

A few weeks ago she hollered at me for taking out perfectly clean dishes from the cupboard and putting them where the dirty ones go next to the sink. Well, no, they were dirty. Just scrubbed so they “looked” clean, per her strictly enforced policy. And … ummm … I cannot even begin to tell you how much I loathe doing dishes. I use as few as possible even knowing I won’t be washing them, because I don’t want to burden another with a job I abhor.

Note: Can you tell we do not have an automatic dish washer? Many have offered, and my dad was glad to install them, but mom always refuses because she says she loves to wash dishes. So my dad said we did have a dishwasher … its name is “arm strong”.

For future reference, I’m thinking it’s better to get hollered at for having small items caked onto dishes or leaving crumbs. I’d rather she be upset with me for that than to find I’m eating from/with dishes, pots, pans, and utensils that have not had a thorough washing.

I’ve no idea how long this has been happening. I’m NOT going to think about it. No one has gotten sick … but I may pretend to use as many of the dishes and utensils that I think we may have used over the last month or two and put them – with the appearance of dirty – into the “to wash” pile. Yikes!

Moral of the Story: Every day is a new adventure. It’s not always clean living.

 

Missing Dad on Father’s Day

This is so frustrating. My dear dad departed this earth 19 years and 5 months ago. But this year, any mention of Father’s Day in my emails, social media, ads in the paper, etc. maked me instantly angry and sad that my dad isn’t here to celebrate in the flesh. 

Grief knows no bounds. It’s random like trying to untangle jumbled up Christmas tree lights. The steps can occur at any moment in time in all the years after they pass: 1, 10, or 50. I know this because my mom misses her parents, and they passed 50 and 30+ years ago. 

It doesn’t help that my dad was awesome. He loved, he lived, he swore, he prayed, he protested, he worked, he read, he wrote, he shared, he educated, he failed, he won, he cared, he voted, he farmed, he gave, he laughed, he cried, he screamed, he smiled, he joked, he valued all life – human and animal alike, he believed in the rights for all people to be in control of their own bodies, he acted to make that possible, he was a rare gem of a human being. 

I think it’s all that is going on in the world. Or it could just be because I have choices to make, and no one helped me more than my dad with big decisions. Or it could be because grief is random. Whatever it is, I miss him. Hard. I cannot contain my tears or emotions. They are immediate and potent when they hit. 

He set the example for my life, and I try to live up to. I never will, but I still work toward the high bar that he set. Praying he’s having a good Father’s Day in Heaven with his own parents, my sisters Barb and Cheri, and my niece Erin. I love and miss them all. Now to concentrate on loving those still in the world today. 

Dad with a car outside in a Sunday Suit

Dad I. Front of the Christmas tree with his usual flannel plaid

Dad sitting in a chair, half smile

Dad sweeping Hay for the Cows that surround him to eat

Kim and Dad iin the driveway of Sunnyside UMC

 

Day 0051: Working from Home

I finally found my beaded wrist rest for my computer. I’d misplaced it when I started working from home. It’s working out great! Just not for me.

The Cat Boss Life:

 

Day 0046: Working from Home

Oye! It’s been a ride! I do enjoy working at home. Work itself is ever changing and faster than usual.

^{Swamp in Fog at Sunrise}

Government contracting generally does not involve a race track. It’s more of a meandering, one step at a time waiting game through the swamp bog in “The Princess Bride”. COVID-19 changed that. Information is now at the speed of light, or so it feels. Solicitations worth over a billion dollars that normally takes 2-3 years to write are being put out to the public for proposals after only 2 months and due in a week. Opportunities for loans and grants increase daily and where never seen before.

^{Bid Proposal}

After two months of mostly helping clients with bids for Personal Protective Equipment, parts for ventilators, and other urgent government needs specific to COVID-19, clients are back to asking for help with traditional government contracting: parts and pieces for vehicles, boxes and packaging, IT services, etc. A hint of normalcy.

Getting the news out about opportunities has been urgent and constant. Helping clients write Capability Statements has kept us busy. Adding new clients into our database hasn’t slowed down. Our days are varied, and we never know what will be next. We learn as we go.

_{^{Rainbow Lollipop on Wood Background}}

Today, however, was frustrating. Monday three clients called for help. We were able to walk each client through their request with GoToMeeting. Today we tried to help three clients, and each needed to head in another direction to solve a problem. We didn’t get them through the subject matter they called about. Granted, this happens from time to time. But three in a row? Frustrating. This was the majority of our day, if not talking directly with the client, then contacting government agencies to figure it out. It’s rarely rainbows and lollipops to contact any government agency, but this was a bit much for a single day for us.

There’s a feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day when you’ve helped someone move forward in their business or helped guide them to resources that will ease their burden. Most days, that is what happens for us, at least a little. We were created to help, and we do so as able.

_{Fire Inside of a Circle}

Government contracting is frustrating enough with all of the flaming hoops, red tape (sticky on both sides), and instructions seemingly written with invisible ink. Then to find that another layer of requirements has been added, or a step was missed so it takes 3 steps back to fix it, it is easily disheartening.

Sometimes our job is to be cheerleaders and jump for joy every time they move forward a half inch. Give them the courage and energy to move on to the next step. Entice them with our joy for their small successes to keep going up the steep incline that is the mountain of learning the skill of government contracting.

_{Silhouette, group of happy children playing on meadow, sunset, summertime}

^Penguins

I’m grateful to be employed. I’m grateful for all of those working more than full time in Michigan Works with unemployment claims, grocery store clerks, transportation folks, medical community, janitorial services, and more. These are the front line, most needed folks in the world now – worldwide – all continents. Except Antarctica. (Even though many of the residents in Antarctica are uncooperative about social distancing. Good thing they aren’t heavy on the human species there.)

^{Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for Halloween}

Today was a Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin Shapes snack day. Tomorrow may be snow peas and grapes instead of sweets because all is running smooth as butter. I was disheartened at Noon to learn it was only Wednesday. I was for sure certain it was Thursday at 4 p.m., which meant I needed another Reese’s. I’m excited for the weekend to turn my mind off and my need for snacks.

Up and down, all around. It’s quite the ride! Glad to take it with my fellow PTACers nationwide.

(The Reese’s Candy image is by Kim. All other images from www.storyblocks.com.)

 

Day 0016: Working from Home

I wasn’t late for a single GoToMeeting today!
So what if I had less than usual.
There is so much email everyday,
by 5:00 p.m. I sometimes feel delusional.

My ears some days feel so squished
from wearing headphones all day.
Yet it helps to be hands free to persist
with that mass quantity of email I must slay.

Headset lying on a laptop computer keyboard conceptual of telemarketing call center client services or online support. Photo from Storyblocks.

 

The MAD Life: Episode 6

I’ve had a migraine for four days. I think it’s finally abating. Phew!

The migraine rule is that if you don’t have four waking hours between migraines, it’s the same migraine. If you are able to sleep for the night or naps. I can usually sleep at night.

Friday into Saturday
I went to bed Friday night with it, thinking I’d medicated enough to help. Nope, within one hour of waking on Saturday, it was back. Which means, it never left. Most of Friday I felt nauseous, throbbing left eye, pain in left quadrant, and itchy scalp.

Saturday into Sunday
Saturday I napped and treated it as I thought would be helpful. It finally started going away about three hours before bed. But Sunday was actually worse. Saturday had the same symptoms, but added in dizzy.

Sunday into Monday
Nope, I woke and it was worse, but I had things to do, so I had to wait to treat it. Which means it got even worse. I had to take the Maxalt – the ultimate for me. Of course, it’s the generic, so it takes two and then I feel like crap in other ways.

Until Sunday, I’d only been using essential oils, acetaminophen, avoidance of light, quiet (as much as possible), caffeine, and lots of water. It helps tamp it down, but when it’s bad, only the Maxalt can do the final trick. It finally started going down after napping on and off for five hours. Sunday’s symptoms had less dizzy and more nauseous.

Monday
So I woke for work Monday, and it hit again an hour into work. Today, all but the nausea has been less, and the pain is more of an annoyance than sharp. Praying tomorrow’s the much desired migraine hangover … cause that means I’m for sure done with that instance.

That makes this one migraine over four days. Today it is mild, and the only heavy symptom is the icky nausea.

So, that’s one way a migraine can last for four days. I have a feeling that for most people it’s more that there is no abatement for four days. I count my blessings that’s not my case. We all differ.