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I Think I’m Sick

I think I’m sick.
I just feel … ick.

My eyes are red and blurry and have sprung a leak.
And while taking antibiotics, my toots absolutely reek.

I’m so filled with snot,
I feel like my tummy’s full … but I haven’t eaten, so it’s not.

My ears and throat and eyes and face ache.
It seems there’s only decongestants and Tylenol in my wake.

Each time I swallow,
it feels as if cut glass follows.

My head feels so swollen, it must be the size of a hot air balloon,
And my eyes are so puffy, I probably look like a raccoon.

There’s ringing in my left ear and no hearing in my right.
If someone were to attack me now, they’d get quite a fright.

My voice is not much different than the sound of crunching gravel,
At least people can’t hear my usual babble.

My cat is so distraught by my whining and nose blowing,
She’s sleeping at the other end of the house under the pile of fabric for sewing.

The dog is so tired of hearing me sneeze and cough without any poise,
He’s pawing at the television remote to find a better noise.

I hope you don’t get what I’ve got.
You deserve better than days filled with snot.

Sepia tone photo of a bare tree in the winter across a snowy road.

 
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Posted by on April 8, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Longevity

My Daffodil has longevity. She was diagnosed one year and one month ago with kidney failure. Our vet gave her from 2 months to one year to live from that horrible moment in time. Today, she is one month past her potential expiration date. Amen!!!

It’s been a long year, a year of many disagreements about her meals, a year of surprises at losing her sister first, a year of joy in celebrating their lives, and a year of contemplating the value of life.

In that same vein, yesterday would have been my niece Erin’s 36th birthday. She made it to her 26th birthday. We did not know when we celebrated that joyous event in the home of our friend Lynn that six months, one week, and two days later she would die suddenly in a motor cycle accident. Life is precious and short.

Between the three of us, Lynn, Erin, and I, we all thought Lynn would be the first to go, because she has a disease that is known to shorten life. (Seriously, we talked about these things … and so very much more. I miss those talks, laughs, and hiccups that followed.) We thought I’d be next, because I’m a chunky monkey and the least active of the three of us. But no, it was Erin, our vivacious, intelligent, talented, and inspiring friend who left us first.

We never know the order of things. Sure, there’s the most likely order, but that doesn’t stop life from interfering. Too many friends and family are enduring cancer and other illnesses at this time. Remember to love your loved ones while we get to have them in our lives here on earth. I send my love to all of mine, those here on earth and those otherwise engaged.

It’s spring. Go forth and enjoy the Daffodils and Erins of the world!

A diluted calico cat with a white chest and gray and peach on her back and face sits on a mauve chair with a quited head rest. It reads, "Kim Marei's Daffodil, Not that one can own a Cat."View PostTwo friends in their mid-twenties. One standing, One sitting. One lives today, One is missed greatly. Signed, "A moment in the life of two friends. - Kim Marie"

 
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Posted by on April 8, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Missing Easter

I am bummed. I’ve been traveling for work during Holy Week, so I’ve  missed most of the services. And now I have ear and sinus infections, so I missed the Good Friday service, and I’ll miss Easter Sunday’s service.

I can see why some people are C & E people (attending church only on Christmas and Easter Sundays). Those are two of the most celebratory services in the year. I enjoy church all year, but these two services are celebrations of joyous events: A Savior is born at Christmas and a Savior rises from death to grant us eternal life at Easter. There is definite reason to rejoice in these events.

However, I can celebrate in my heart no matter where I am. Since I’m not contagious, we’re still planning on having friends over for dinner. I’ll listen to a past sermon in the morning and get the Pysanky eggs out to decorate the table in the afternoon. May your Easter be delightful in every way.

Wire chicken basket with Pysanky dyed eggs inside - mostly blues and greens with some reds.

 
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Posted by on April 5, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Warts of Worry

My mom always said that the only wart my dad ever had was his wife, the worry wart. In reality, he had more than one wart of worry in his life. He had at least two, because I am also a worry wart.

Now, with Daffodil coming up on a year of living with kidney disease, I worry of losing her. I worry if she eats too little – will she quit eating? If she eats too much, is she getting sick again? If she plays too much, is she stressing out? If she sleeps too much, are her kidney’s failing again?

There are so many things to worry about … physical health, mental health, emotional health, losing your job, losing faith, losing loved ones, getting my car washed before it rusts into the snow from the salt, getting gifts completed before they are due to be gifted, getting enough fruits and veggies so I can avoid the doctor but also avoid an IBS adventure, keeping up with my laundry (a necessary evil), keeping up with grocery shopping (and getting all that’s on the list), and getting enough sleep so that I’m not any loopier than usual.

Yet the Bible says in Matthew 6:27 (NIV), “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

And then Matthew 6:34 (NIV) goes on to say, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Well then, it’s tomorrow’s responsibility to worry, and not mine. I just like to help it out from time to time.

A calico cat sitting in a chair saying, "When, oh when,  will they bother to feed  me again. It's already been  five minutes since I last  ate, but I worry I'm  going to starve to  death soon."

 
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Posted by on March 5, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Faith

It is the season of Lent. I have had a lot of activity at church in the last few days. Ash Wednesday services over lunch last week, Bible Study on Thursday night, District Conference yesterday, and both worship and Sunday School today.

Every activity was enjoyed because the leadership was inspiring, my fellow attendees were generous, and the content was moving and invaluable to my soul.

I know that not everyone has this experience with church or religion. I am fortunate to have positive experiences and guidance. I pray for all who don’t know the love there is to be found in a church with open arms, open hearts, and open minds. Granted, my denomination is not there yet, but I feel that my church home, for the most part, is there.

May you find that God is Love. God’s arms are open to you, his (or her) ear is ready to hear your story, and compassion is waiting patiently to be shared with you. Whether it be at my church home or another, may you find peace, sanctuary, and rest.

God is already in love with you, because he created you. God is waiting for you to accept that love. The arms are open, the door is unlocked and ajar, the candles are lit, and the table is set with abundance for you to walk in, rest your weary soul, and partake.

Church sanctuary alter with candles, wine, and bread after worship.

 
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Posted by on February 23, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

The Queen’s Meals

The Queen has decided this weekend that it is best to be fed while her royal servant holds the dish … preferably while her royal servant is squatting in the most uncomfortable position and the Queen stands prettily lapping up her delish dish. (As delish as her master chef can make it with that nasty kidney failure medicated cat food.)

This servant is glad to do whatever it takes so that this Queen reigns for as long as possible.

Diluted calico long-haired cat sitting in front of a basket with her nose in the air while she rests on fluffy pillows.

 
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Posted by on February 16, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

It’s Hard To Say Good-Bye

Some say, “it’s just a cat.” I’d never agree with that, and most people in my life would condemn that phrase as well. But if you do buy that, try this on for size: I’ve lived with her for 16 years. Can you suddenly be without someone you’ve lived with and loved for 16 years? I sure can’t.

My Daisy needed little care most of her life, but she gave us so much joy. In the end, much care was required, and I gave it willingly, without reserve, and with passion for her comfort. And now, she doesn’t need me. She’s in Heaven, where she belongs, with her grandpa who saved her from the life of a barn cat (for which she thanked him daily). Learning to live without him was also painful and too abrupt. These 11 years without him seem like 11 minutes at times.

Yet I still live with a sick kitty. Daisy’s sister has kidney failure. If Daffodil doesn’t eat her prescription food, she starts to fail. Talking her into eating the nasty stuff is a job I take on with the heart’s desire I took on for Daisy’s needs. Anything for quality time with these gifts from God. As I type this, Beyoncé and Sam Smith are singing “Stay with Me” on the Grammy Awards. I’m praying I have a long while yet with this lovely spirit in fur.

As painful as losing Daisy has been, I know it will be ten times worse when Daffodil follows. For today, she’s here and actually doing quite well. But I’ve been warned her time here is short. I ache and lose my breath to even consider that today.

Daily life with pets is so very much better. There is a love and care there that is extraordinary. It is a two-way street. Our one cat has such love for my mom, the kitty is nothing but dejected without her mommy. She mopes around and cries out for her, seeking her. It’s not just a matter of food or a clean litter box. It’s friendship, appreciation, and companionship.

As sad as I am now, I know I’m better for these girls. I miss Daisy so much because she was vital to my happiness, and we were to her. I wouldn’t trade one moment with her to avoid this pain. God blessed us with each other.

Daisy Lynn Bourner
August 1998 ~ January 2014

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2015 in Uncategorized

 
 
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